Ramadan-day 6

Is it really only day 6!!!!!!! It feels like day 60!!!!! I am reminded of the importance of taking things "1 day at a time". When I think of how many more days I have left to fast, I feel anxious and worried "how am I going to make it!".... but when I focus on the day, GOD and enjoying whatever surfaces, then all is smooth sailing and frankly not too bad. The toughest part of the day for me is from 2-4ish. My stomach burns with hunger and my mouth is begging for water. Thoughts enter my mind like "ahhhh, just take 1 sip of water or just 1 bite of food, really, can God really want us to feel this way!".... haaaaaa haaaaaaa....then I think of all of the people in the world who don't know when their next meal will come and when it does it's scraps of other peoples food. And I feel blessed beyond words. I am reminded that it's not pain that God wishes upon us but strength. Abstaining from something you desire sooooooo badly for the sake of something much more powerful builds character...builds strength in ones self and plainly makes one feel good and accomplished. It doesn't matter if I am all alone and no one else in the world knows if I am fasting-I know and the rewards for not cheating are so great.

I came across a notebook of mine from '96/'97. It was a notebook detailing my introduction to and the study of Islam and consequently my conversion. WOW! did it ever bring back memories and also made me realize that I am not nearly as ambitious about my spirituality as I was back then. It has taken a back seat to life-kids, marriage, laundry, dishes, work etc... and I realize that when my spirituality is lacking, there is lack in every other aspect of my life as well. I am not speaking of religion and the rituals that religion entails. I am speaking of spirituality and even deeper than that...something that I don't believe has a name.... I am speaking of that 'voice' inside that leads all of us.

Back to my notebook...I had written song lyrics from Celine Dion that made me feel especially spiritual..."Call the Man" and "Because You Loved Me". In these songs I thought who else besides God could she be singing about.

"call the man who deals in love beyond repair
He can heal the world of hearts in need of care
shine a light ahead, when the the step is unclear
Call the man...he's needed here"

"You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me Faith, cuz you believed
I'm everything I am because you loved me"

Many of us think of these songs as love songs to our spouse, boy/girl friend etc.... but to me, when I hear these songs I can only think of God...who can really do all of these things except HIM". God is the magnificent, the compassionate, the merciful.

A Muslim before beginning any venture says "Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim" which means "In the name of God, the compassionate, the merciful" because it is by God's grace that we accomplish and persevere.

A Muslim also says at the end of a statement "Insha-Allah" which means "if God wills". For instance, if I were to say "I'll see you tomorrow" I also add on (either silently or a loud) "Insha-Allah". Why? Well...it's simple...because only God knows if I will see you tomorrow or not!

With that thought, I end my pondering with this quote from Penguin classic "The Koran"

"The only guidance is the guidance of God"

Peace to you all...God Bless and good night.